They call me the Baby Nazi

They're pulled to me by an unseen force. Perhaps it's karma. Too many comments about coffin dodgers, nuking Blufflelson, etc. Perhaps, as some have said before, I just have bad luck.

Whatever the cause, if there's a screaming child in a restaurant, or a coworker's infant surrounded by a heard of cooing women, it's gonna be parked right near me.

Dearth and I went to Guiseppi's yesterday, and the hostess seated us in a booth right next to two soccer moms lunching with their toddlers. This can't possibly be good, I thought as we sat down. Sure enough, a bloodcurdling scream soon issued forth inches behind my left ear, along with some what I'm sure was either drool or vomit. I thought I smelled half digested Cherrios.

For the rest of the meal, junior scampered back and forth across the booth, squealing hideously every few minutes, and smacking me on the shoulder. The breeders didn't let this interrupt their conversation. I could have sworn my shoulder felt wet.

Ok, I realize I won't get a whole lot of sympathy from parents that may read this, but jesus, is it that difficult to at least pretend that you care that your little precious is annoying the shit out of the strangers around you?

Soccer mom damn near ended up with a purse full of ketchup. It was hanging so tantalizingly close...and who would think to blame the almost 30 year old upstanding adult, when her little baby einstein is so special and creative with condiments!


We also need to eat! :) Bet you can't wait till August when we come to visit. I may just have to figure out a way to bring the 2 1/2 year old and force you to go out to eat with us...then you would really be tortured. -Renae

Just for that I'm bringing the 3 year old when I come to visit and forcing YOU to take her out. Also, we really don't care what they are doing...we wish we could be seated away from them just as much as you do.