Christian's blog

S4: 1, Kermit: 0

Apparently whilst driving the other night in the rain, I snuffed out the life force of a hapless frog, whose carcass remains to this day stuck in my car's grill. Let us now shed a silent tear.

Ok, now that that's done, I can carry on with my weekend. Anyone in the mood for frog legs?

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It's a sickness, I tell you.

I finally decided to get with the times and buy a DVD player. But of course, I couldn't just buy a DVD player for $99 at Target. Oh no. I figured, hey, my stereo is pretty old, and I gave away my 15 year old speakers to my brother when I moved... so I bought a combination DVD player and receiver. Simple enough. Oh, I had to get speakers too.... and you know, everything will sound so much better with a subwoofer.... and so on.

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The secret to my girlish figure? Lots of cheese.

Every once in a while I get to thinking, hey, maybe I should modify my eating habits ever so slightly. Today, for example, I had a "Value Sized" meal comprised of a fried chicken sandwich and a pound of waffle fries from Chick-Fil-A for lunch, and three greasy pieces of pizza and cheese covered bread (with plenty of melted butter and garlic) for dinner. Somewhere in between, I consumed about a gallon of mello yello. Now, I'm sitting on my ass at home, gnawing on a rice krispy treat. That can't be good for the ole' gut. (or arteries.... or liver...or, oh nevermind)

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Is that a cannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I spent the weekend in Savannah with Betsy. After gorging ourselves on succulent fried seafood and poultry at Captian D's on Saturday, we struggled to find something to do on an unseasonably cold and windy day. We, I mean I, thought, hey, why don't we go to that fort thing on the way to Tybee?

The parks service woman at the gate seemed suprised that we actually stopped and paid our $3 each. We headed into Ft. Pulaski and took a few goofy pictures and wandered around for a while. I feel we got our $6 worth.

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Moes, the Official Review

I eat mexican food at least twice a week. Sometimes five. I'm a regular contributor to Andrew Farbman's kid's college fund. But I was hungry on my way home from work today, so I thought I'd try Moes in Bluffton. I hadn't been that impressed with the one on Abercorn in Savannah, but I thought I'd give it a second chance.

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Why didn't I think of this?

A brilliant new sales pitch is sweeping Savannah (and the Coastal Empire!)... It goes like this:

Ello?

You speak spanish?

This is Inez from AT&T. You want?

..ah marketing in action.

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Crap crap crap crap crap

That's the kind of day it was. I don't have much more to say.

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Nothing says I love you like a bed full of piss

I made the mistake of giving Bones 15 minutes of unsupervised time this morning while I took a shower and brushed my teeth. My reward? A little weasel of a dog wriggling under my comforter, urinating on my sheets. I selected a few choice explatives and let them fly.

Dog, meet crate.

But apparently, pissing in my bed wasn't enough. He went through the extra effort of going to the other bedroom, and pissing on the sheets in there too. Way to make a positive impression, buddy!

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Is this the face of a demon?

I'm not so sure this is the dog for me. His level of energy is just a bit to much for my relatively even baseline of sloth. Yeah, he's cute and all, but man, can't I get a break every once in a while? I can barely sit still to type this because I'm watching to make sure that he doesn't eat something, rub the flea repellent on the sofa (you know, the stuff that says it may cause blindness if it contacts your eyes), or pees on the baseboards (found two spots already; We're going to have a 'territory' dispute pretty soon).

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Jizzbone

So we got the dog. He's cute. His name is Bones. Only problem is, he's a little too horny for his own (and Sephie's, and our furniture's) good. The allure of Sephie's hindquarters seems to overpower all other needs. Food and water are shunned. The only thing that draws him away from psychoticly chasing Sephie is psychoticly chasing a tennis ball, which he'll do for hours on end. This dog never runs out of energy.

As for 'Jizzbone', I'm sure you can figure that out.

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