Everything I touch turns to shit


At one time, I fancied myself a mechanically inclined type. I could fix a bike, do a little work on a car, etc. But now, god help me if I try to do something that involves cutting, drilling, or measuring.

My menial task for the evening was to install four stainless-steel handles on the kitchen drawers. Simple, no? Of course not. I found a way to screw it up.

Somehow, despite measuring and remeasuring before letting fly my cordless drill of fury, I managed to install three out of four of the damn things slightly askew. I'll be damned if I know how I managed this. In all likelihood, I'll probably be the only one to notice. But I'll know, dammit, I'll know.