Dave, do you need me to call an ambulance?

Subject:

Ah, it's really starting to feel like home, in our trendy little yuppie and student-with-rich-parents enclave here on the east side of Savannah.

This morning I introduced myself to one of our new neighbors. It wasn't easy, though. I had to wake him up from what I assume was an alcohol induced blackout, where he lay in front of his car on the sidewalk, arms and legs askew, keys by his side, head by the sprinkler. Did I mention the sprinkler was running?

So after determining that he was in fact breathing, I tried shaking him and yelling at him until I got some response. First eyelids fluttering, then some incoherent mumbling, then about a minute or so later he scraped is ass of the sidewalk. Strangely, he didn't seem to think it was that unusual that he woke up on the sidewalk in such a condition, with water spraying on his head. He declined my offer to call 911. Nice to meet you Dave!