I finally got me an ESS-YOU-VEEE

I really feel like a real red-blooded 'Merican now, with my full-sized off-road behemoth. Why, there isn't nothin' more satisfying than heading off with the missus for an afternoon of clubbing baby seals and burning old-growth forests (I recommend the spotted owl pan seared) in a big honkin' truck.

Now I know what you're saying - "Chris, it's bad for the environment!", "Chris, it's a gas guzzler!", "Chris, you're a fucking hypocrite!" Well you're right. But I tell you this, gentle reader - You ain't lived 'till you've mowed down a family of five without even feeling them crunch delicately under your tires. Really makes you feel safe and in control. So suck it, tree-huggers!


Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.

Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Woah!