Greetings from glorious Cuyahoga Falls!

Here's a photo from our luxury suite high above scenic Cuyahoga Falls. At least I'm assuming these are the falls. After all, this is the town of Cuyahoga Falls, OH, and I haven't seen any other falls to speak of.

We figured that since our Bora Bora honeymoon went bust, we'd travel to a location nearly as exotic for a weekend getaway. Where to go first? The Akron Zoo? The Pro Football Hall of Fame? So far, we've dined in style at Longhorn Steakhouse and Bob Evan's, but not caught much of the myriad local attractions.

But seriously, this ought to mark the end of Wedding Tour 2005, a journey that's kept us bouncing back and forth from Savannah to various parts of eastern Ohio for most of the summer. At least I hope it does. Because I really fucking hate flying, and the 10-13 hour drive ain't that much better.

Unlike last weekend's flight to Middle Kentucky, we've not had to sit back in steerage next to the putrid blue toilet water, nor have we been imprisoned on a cropduster infested with yammering college volleyball players, but I have wished I was carrying my trusty ball-peen hammer, in order to bludgeon a pair of fifty-something bitches that sat in front of us on one flight, who apparently didn't understand the concept of the 'indoor voice' which most youngsters seem to master before the age of ten. I guess it could be worse.

Anywho, we're now prepping for the wedding that we came to attend. I fear we may be the token squares invited. I considered getting my nipples pierced and chained to my nose to fit in, but for now, I'll have to make due with my new neck tattoo.